Which Means the Venn Diagram of “People Who’ve Dated Chris Martin” and “People Who’ve Dated Megan Fox” Is Now a Perfect Circle
In a story that has left the Internet head-scratching like a lost golden retriever, it has been reported that actor Dakota Johnson and musician Machine Gun Kelly are “seeing where things go.” “Seeing where things go” is a celebrity code phrase meaning we’re absolutely dating but would like to keep plausible deniability until the paparazzi photos get too undeniable.
Reader, the photos have gotten undeniable.
The Timeline of Events (Allegedly)
As if it were not enough that they had hit it off in July 2026 while attending the wedding of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, it has been said that they quickly clicked. They are said to have been inspired by their love of music, film or the experience of having both been associated with far more famous people than most people are able to handle.
In September they were photographed entering Taylor Swift’s New York apartment. Taylor now has a portfolio of apartments with which she matches people up. And they went to Vogue World Milan together. Dakota came along to support MGK. MGK was probably wearing something that took a second pair of eyes to interpret.
But then, in mid-October, the two of them were seen leaving a studio in Los Angeles, stepping into MGK’s sports car, and heading to Dakota’s residence. In celebrity terms this amounts to a marriage announcement. The following morning the car was still parked outside.
The “She Made the First Move” of It All
The insiders say that it was the other way around, that she made the first move, because she has been a long-time fan of Machine Gun Kelly and finds him very attractive, whereas MGK is said to be “shy” about her. I just want you to think about this a bit. Shy. About Dakota Johnson. Machine Gun Kelly. The woman who once said she would rather do her own dental work than watch her own films.
Sources report that she has also introduced Machine Gun Kelly to her mother, Melanie Griffith, who supposedly approves. Melanie Griffith approving of Machine Gun Kelly is the most 2026 sentence ever made, and I say that with all love.
The Real Kicker
Here’s what’s really funny: Dakota Johnson previously dated Chris Martin for years, and MGK previously dated Megan Fox. Chris Martin and Megan Fox have also been linked. So there is now a hexagonal prism of relationships in which no one is left unmarred.
At the present time, the celeb dating pool is less of a pool and more of a hot tub at a very exclusive resort, where everyone has already seen everybody else’s bathing suit.
What’s Next?
Will they go public? Will MGK release a ballad on the subject? Will Dakota Johnson give a totally deadpan interview about the whole thing while wearing a coat that costs $4,000? Only time, and Taylor Swift’s security camera logs, will tell.
One thing’s certain: if this affair should lead to even one joint appearance on a red carpet, the Internet will simply not survive it. Nor will Chris Martin’s next album.
Neither Dakota Johnson nor Machine Gun Kelly has officially confirmed the relationship, but the car was still there the next morning. The car. Was. Still. There.
by SIMON VEGAS
check for more
Page Six (primary source for LA sighting)
https://pagesix.com/2026/10/16/photos/mgk-spends-the-night-at-dakota-johnsons-house-after-wrapping-up-studio-session-in-la/
Page Six (Vogue World Milan front row)
https://pagesix.com/2026/09/22/style/dakota-johnson-sits-front-row-as-mgk-walks-the-runway-at-vogue-world-2026-milano/
Cosmopolitan (relationship timeline)
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/a73943633/dakota-johnson-mgk-relationship-timeline/
Daily Mail (insider claims: Melanie Griffith, “best sex,” babies)
https://www.dailymail.com/tvshowbiz/article-16215427/dakota-johnson-machine-gun-kelly-dating-sex.html
Times of India (DeuxMoi overnight report)
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/english/hollywood/news/dakota-johnson-and-machine-gun-kelly-fuel-dating-rumours-duo-spotted-leaving-recording-studio-together-pics/articleshow/135006851.cms
Daily Jang (ET source: “she made the first move,” “shy”)
https://jang.com.pk/en/74746-dakota-johnson-spends-night-with-mgk-at-her-la-home-amid-dating-buzz-news