It was a weekend that put sparkle in the headlines for all the right and wrong reasons. As Hollywood’s elite draped themselves in borrowed diamonds at the Academy Museum Gala, a different kind of “borrowing” was underway across the Atlantic, where a team of audacious thieves made a swift withdrawal from the Louvre’s jewellery collection. The common denominator? An unwavering commitment to going for the gold—or in these cases, the platinum, emeralds, and historically significant gemstones.
The Gala: Where the Only Thing Being Stolen Was the Spotlight
On Saturday night, the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures in Los Angeles transformed into a fortress of fashion, where the only security breach was Kim Kardashian arriving in a Maison Margiela couture gown with a full-face veil. She was, quite literally, unrecognizable, requiring assistants to guide her through the museum—a security nightmare of the most glamorous kind. Was it a fashion statement or a tactical drill for a future jewel heist? The world may never know.
Meanwhile, Selena Gomez, radiant in Armani Privé, walked the carpet with boyfriend Benny Blanco, and Olivia Rodrigo sported vintage Giorgio Armani Privé, because nothing says “old soul” like wearing vintage couture before you’re legally allowed to run for president. The event raised a staggering $12 million for the museum’s initiatives, proving that Hollywood can put its money where its mouth is, especially when that mouth is perfectly lined with lipstick that probably costs more than your monthly rent.
The honorees included Bruce Springsteen, who received the inaugural Legacy Award and performed after being introduced by Martin Scorsese and George Clooney—because why have one living legend when you can have three? Penélope Cruz nabbed the Icon Award in an iridescent Chanel gown that took 630 hours to hand-embellish, or approximately the same amount of time it would take a normal person to assemble a single piece of flat-pack furniture.
The Heist: A Seven-Minute Shopping Spree
While Hollywood was recovering from its glamorous hangover, a different kind of production was unfolding in Paris. At approximately 9:30 AM local time on Sunday, a team of three or four masked individuals executed what can only be described as the most ambitious souvenir collection in Louvre history.
In a move that would make any Hollywood stunt coordinator proud, the thieves used a mechanical ladder or basket lift to access a first-floor window overlooking the Seine. They then employed disc cutters or small chainsaws to slice through window panes and display cases with surgical precision. The entire operation took between four and seven minutes—roughly the same amount of time it takes a celebrity to decide between two nearly identical designer gowns.
Their haul? Nine “priceless” historical jewels from the Apollo Gallery, home to France’s crown jewels. The stolen items included an emerald necklace from the Empress Marie Louise set, a tiara of Empress Eugenie, and various other pieces that would make even the most seasoned red carpet stylist weak in the knees. In their haste, the thieves dropped one item—the 19th-century crown of Empress Eugenie, which was found broken outside the museum. The crown features 1,354 diamonds and 56 emeralds, because apparently, 1,353 diamonds just wouldn’t have been ostentatious enough.
French Interior Minister Laurent Nuñez described the stolen items as having “inestimable heritage value”, which is museum-speak for “so expensive we’re not even sure how to insure this.”
Security Theater: Gala Guards vs. Museum Mayhem
The security contrast between these two events could not be more pronounced. At the Academy Gala, security was tighter than the corsets on the evening gowns, with every guest vetted, every outfit approved, and every move documented by enough photographers to constitute a small army. Meanwhile, at the world’s most visited museum, thieves reportedly wore hi-vis yellow jackets—the universal uniform of “I’m supposed to be here, don’t mind me”—and used construction work as cover for their operation.
Table: Tale of Two Security Protocols
One can only imagine the post-heist conversation. “How do we get away?” “Mopeds, obviously. Nothing says ‘discreet getaway’ like a powerful 560cc engine roaring through the streets of Paris.”
Fashion Police: What Were the Thieves Thinking?
While the Gala’s best looks are being meticulously documented by every fashion publication from Vogue to W Magazine, we must address the elephant in the room: what were the Louvre thieves wearing? Reports indicate “hoods” and “masks”—a decidedly less polished aesthetic than, say, Zoë Kravitz in Saint Laurent or Hailey Bieber in sculpted Schiaparelli.
Fashion icon Law Roach was in attendance at the Gala, but one wonders if the Louvre thieves could have benefited from his expertise. Hoods and masks might provide anonymity, but do they flatter the jawline? Hi-vis jackets ensure visibility to one another, but what about color coordination with the priceless jewels you’re stealing?
The thieves entered “calmly” according to Culture Minister Rachida Dati, which is indeed very professional, but calmness doesn’t necessarily translate to style points. Meanwhile, at the Gala, celebrities were striking poses with the intensity of Olympic athletes, because in Hollywood, if you didn’t get the picture, did you even really attend?
The Celebrity Connection: What Might Have Been
One can’t help but imagine alternative scenarios where these two worlds collide more directly. What if the Louvre thieves were simply frustrated fashion stylists, seeking better pieces for their A-list clients? What if Kim Kardashian’s face-covering veil was actually a test run for a future career in art theft? The possibilities are endless.
We can only speculate about which celebrities might be secretly disappointed they didn’t get first dibs on the stolen jewels. One can picture a stylist somewhere sighing, “That Empress Eugenie tiara would have been perfect for the Grammys. I hope they at least plan to accessorize responsibly.”
Even the honorees weren’t safe from the cross-continental drama. Bruce Springsteen, who performed “Streets of Philadelphia”, might consider rewriting the lyrics to include “and the streets of Paris, where they steal the crown jewels in broad daylight.”
The Takeaway: A Weekend of Contrasts
In the end, this weekend reminded us that whether you’re acquiring jewels through celebrity connections or criminal operations, the real value is in the story. Hollywood’s finest spent millions to support the arts, while Paris’s finest (criminals) made off with millions in artistic history. One event was a meticulously planned celebration of public philanthropy, the other a meticulously planned celebration of private acquisition.
As the Louvre investigates and Hollywood recuperates, we’re left with one burning question: Who had better accessories? The answers may vary, but one thing’s for certain—both events proved that when it comes to diamonds, everybody wants a piece. And if the Gala’s fashion is any indication, next year’s attendees might just show up in hi-vis jackets and ladder motifs, because nothing says “fashion forward” like drawing inspiration from an international crime caper.