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Back from the vacation break, Jon Stewart wasted no time as he dug into current headlines, dedicating a majority of his section to Elon Musk‘s departure from the Oval Office and his so-called Department of Government Efficiency.
“Speaking of misanthropic data-hoarders, DOGE has finally rooted out one of America’s least efficient government workers and marked him for dismissal,” he quipped at the beginning of The Daily Show‘s episode tonight.
No longer a “special government employee,” Stewart added that Musk was “leaving his job to make more family with his time.” He continued, referencing the billionaire’s fathering of 14 kids by 4 completely different girls, “He f—ed a lot I think, or just has a mail-order sperm farm going, I don’t know.”
The political comedian then segued into the marked distinction between the gleefully leaping Musk on the marketing campaign path to the “poor bastard” showcased in images of the black-eyed Tesla CEO throughout his press convention reverse president Donald Trump.
“He went from tech titan, given a mandate to move fast and crush the deep state to guy who had a bad night in a Nashville bar he can’t remember, OK? He’s got that look, like, ‘Has anyone seen my shoes?’ He looks beaten down. He’s got that look on his face that I imagine his employees normally have,” Stewart stated.
Referencing earlier interactions through which he invited Musk to look on the late-night present, Stewart mentioned Musk’s chosen exit interview on CBS News’ Sunday Morning: “Now, obviously, we on this program would have been delighted to offer an unedited forum for Elon to discuss his journey from hard-working efficiency expert to drug-addled child star mug shot. But he chose to go in a different direction by sort of speaking to your theater-loving parents’ favorite news program.”
He continued, saying Trump had “broken this poor man,” mocking the X proprietor for redirecting the dialog to “spaceships” when the anchor tried to query Musk about White House coverage selections.
“But let this be a lesson to Elon and anybody in Trump’s orbit: whatever your passionate political belief or whatever your ideology is, you will go from reaching for mine stars to dissolving in a puddle of your own urine and shame and starting a fight club with your kid just to be able to feel because Trump,” Stewart remarked, repeating POTUS’ title for emphasis because the viewers dissolved into raucous cheers, “Trump doesn’t believe in anything, man.”
He concluded, “Just rolling with the punches is clearly the only strategy for happiness when you’re working for Trump. Trump’s very open secret has always been: He doesn’t believe in or care about any policy issue at all. He wants attention, he wants his ego stroked and he wants money — he wants f—wads and f—wads of money.”
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