Kataluna Enriquez, Miss USA Contestant, on Trans Rights

In 2021, Kataluna Enriquez made historical past. After being topped Miss Nevada that yr, she turned the primary out transgender contestant to compete in Miss USA. The 28-year-old presently lives in Las Vegas, the place she’s a clothier and a health-care administrator.

This Transgender Day of Visibility, we requested Enriquez to speak about her journey — each the challenges she’s confronted and her nice triumphs. In a time when lawmakers are introducing unprecedented anti-trans laws and the security of trans Americans is beneath menace, Enriquez and others are loudly advocating for trans rights and should be heard.

Everything I did as a toddler felt pure to me — eager to put on my sisters’ attire as a substitute of my garments, eager to play with their toys. I at all times needed to hang around with the ladies, not my man cousins. But I by no means knew I used to be completely different till I used to be perhaps 4 or so. As a toddler, you’ve gotten so many individuals round you — particularly dad and mom — making an attempt to steer you to grasp what’s finest for you. So they might consistently inform me, “You cannot do that, you may’t try this this fashion.”

So I discovered to cover these issues, to faux I used to be completely satisfied, to behave within the issues they needed me to be serious about — to make my dad and mom proud. And I did that for a really very long time, till I used to be in highschool. I used to be simply drained. I needed to be myself.

Spirit Week in highschool actually modified the whole lot. Opposite Day was my calling. I felt so comfy, I felt so stunning on Opposite Day, dressing how I needed. And after that, it was like, this feels pure for me, this feels proper. So all through highschool, I principally transitioned slowly, simply listening to what was proper for me. It began from sporting skinny denims to ultimately tighter and tighter pants to sporting shorter skirts and heels.

School was my freedom. I feel it allowed me to have my very own character with out my dad and mom having such a detailed eye on me, having such strict consideration. I’d go to highschool otherwise; I’d present up early within the morning in sweats, after which develop into garments I needed to put on. And then when I’d go house, I’d change again into my sweats so my dad would not know what I used to be sporting. I imply — I’d get caught by him right here and there. San Leandro, CA, was a small city, so after faculty generally he’d see me strolling with pals.

I by no means actually got here out to my dad and mom. They’ve at all times recognized I used to be very completely different, however again then I’d get in hassle after I was caught sporting what I needed. It was all a course of. In the identical method I needed to transition, I feel my dad needed to transition as nicely and perceive what I used to be going by means of and what made me completely satisfied. When he was in a position to let go and permit me to be myself, I used to be in a position to blossom, and I’m very grateful for that. And now we have an awesome relationship now.

Back then, there weren’t many individuals who stood out like I did. At that point, being trans wasn’t talked about a lot, and I do not suppose I even knew the language at the moment. I used to be simply listening to myself and what made me completely satisfied and what felt proper and pure for me, but additionally highschool — you could know your crowd and slot in. So I’d get bullied; I’d generally have individuals throw issues at me. I could not use the lavatory at one level. Many academics did not perceive me, and if I attempted utilizing the boys’ toilet, they might be like, “What are you doing right here?” And then as a teen, I did not really feel comfy going to the ladies’s restroom, as a result of I did not wish to make different individuals uncomfortable. So I used to be at all times caught and I’d wait till after faculty to make use of the restroom, or I’d reduce faculty to run throughout the road to the Popeyes or Starbucks to make use of the restroom.

After highschool, I went to vogue faculty, after which I fell into modeling. But at the moment too, being trans wasn’t the most well-liked factor, so I had designers say, “I do not actually like your physique, you do not match the picture I would like.” Or, “There’s solely a sure marketplace for you.” And I took that personally. I used to be bored with consistently having to restrict myself, to push myself again.

Then, I discovered pageantry — the place you may stroll the runway, you may communicate your thoughts, the place you may have a objective, the place you may empower your self by means of being there on stage and being there for your self. I used to suppose pageants objectified girls, however then I discovered to truly take heed to what they the contestants had been saying. And I additionally suppose it taught me that simply because somebody is gorgeous does not imply they’re simply restricted to that. They’re able to so many extra issues, so long as you are match to hear.

I nonetheless cannot overlook the second I gained Miss Nevada. It was actually a life-changing expertise; it was truthfully like a Cinderella story for me. I as soon as competed in a special state, the place I used to be humiliated, the place I used to be requested to supply a letter from the physician that may show I used to be “girl sufficient.” And then I used to be excluded from the occasions and handled unfairly. So for a very long time, I assumed that may be my actuality. But that modified after I moved to Las Vegas. When I competed in Nevada, for probably the most half, everybody was actually nice. When I gained, you may inform how the ladies supported me, and the way the buddies that I made there have been genuinely completely satisfied for me. And I nonetheless discuss to quite a lot of them to this present day. I feel everybody ought to have the ability to be celebrated in that method.

The method trans rights are being politicized as we speak, it is unhappy — there are days whenever you really feel personally attacked and you do not perceive why. But what I do to search out pleasure is encompass myself with my neighborhood. And generally even speaking to different individuals who do not have the identical perspective — speaking to them, making an attempt to grasp their aspect and having them perceive your aspect, is useful. Because you are actually connecting as individuals, and I feel on the finish of the day, no matter how completely different we’re, we’re all one race, and that is the human race.

And proper now, I’m simply looking and making an attempt to dig up my childhood, as a result of I lived a life for another person. So now I’m making an attempt to determine: who’s Kat? What makes Kat completely satisfied? It’s a course of, however I’m very grateful that I’m in a position to do the issues I wish to do with work, having house for vogue and to work on my enterprise. I’m permitting myself to essentially be completely satisfied and work out and uncover who I actually am.

— As advised to Lena Felton