As the estimable Mr. Letterman used to declare of his Stupid Pet Tricks and Stupid Human Tricks options: This is just an exhibition. This is just not a contest. Please, no wagering.”
Without additional ado, this is the official countdown of the 12 months 2022. And what a 12 months it was…
10. Re-Enter BangBros! Porn Producer Resubmits $10 Million Miami Heat Arena Naming-Rights Offer, by Ryan Yousefi
In the area of some days, traders are out billions of {dollars}, the Heat’s house is anonymous, a man who seems to be Egon Spengler come to life is the brand new poster boy for the perils of cryptocurrency. Not solely does it really feel like one thing out of a film, however it undoubtedly shall be a film. It’s only a query of who directs and stars.
Enter BangBros. Well, technically, re-enter BangBros.
As bizarre as that sounds, it is even weirder than what you are considering.
See additionally: Booby Trap Strip Club Makes Competing $5 Million Offer for Miami Heat Arena Naming Rights
Sheriff Carmine Marceno has special-made yard indicators along with his face on them, and a message for alleged drug sellers.
Photo by Lee County Sheriff’s Office
9. Lee County Skipped Evacuation of Jail Located in Evacuation Zone, by Alex DeLuca
More than two million Floridians have been advised to evacuate as Hurricane Ian approached Florida’s southwest coast. When the storm got here ashore on September 28, it decimated neighborhoods with Category 4 winds and introduced a harmful storm surge that submerged metropolis blocks in Lee County.
But whereas obligatory evacuation orders had been in place throughout the county for greater than two days, sending scores of residents fleeing inland throughout the state, one group remained within the storm’s direct path with no possibility to depart.
According to Lee County Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Anita Iriarte, Sheriff Carmine Marceno’s workplace declined to evacuate inmates from its 457-bed downtown Fort Myers jail as Hurricane Ian neared Category 5 standing and closed in on the realm.
See additionally: Tough on Crime, Eager for the Limelight: Meet Florida’s “Law and Order” Sheriff
A brand new research discovered that that is the deadliest one-mile stretch of freeway within the nation.
through 1 Point21 Interactive, Elk & Elk
8. Study: I-95 in Fort Lauderdale Is the Deadliest Mile in America, by Jess Swanson
Last May, a girl driving a Mercedes-Benz SUV plunged practically 20 toes off the southbound entrance ramp onto I-95 from State Road 84 in Fort Lauderdale. She’d hit a concrete guardrail that had simply been repaired following an eerily related accident that despatched two males in a Cadillac SUV to the hospital roughly 24 hours prior.
While these three victims survived, 24 folks died in 23 automobile crashes between 2000 and 2019 alongside that very same stretch of I-95 between I-595 and State Road 84, which is now thought-about the “deadliest mile in America,” in line with a brand new research by 1Point21 Interactive digital company and the Elk & Elk private harm regulation agency.
See additionally: The Deadliest Mile Strikes Again
This federal ruling helps convey new readability to a murky authorized space concerning the hemp product. But what does it imply for Florida?
7. What the Federal Delta-8 THC Ruling Means for Florida, by Alex DeLuca
There’s huge information on the hashish entrance.
A latest ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit has reaffirmed that Delta-8 THC was certainly legalized nationwide by the 2018 Farm Bill, which federally legalized hemp and different hashish vegetation that include extraordinarily low concentrations of Delta-9 THC.
More hashish protection may be discovered right here.
The creature was noticed in Tampa earlier this week.
6. Ron Magill Identifies Tampa’s Mysterious Creature — And It Lives in Miami Too, by Joshua Ceballos
On Monday, Twitter consumer @Blizzjuuheardd posted a photograph of a creepy terrestrial animal with the caption, “Boy what the fuck is that this shit 😠I’m getting out of Tampa bro.”
“A bear with alopecia,” wrote one consumer, whose remark was adopted by replies that includes actor Will Smith on the Oscars, a reference to comic Chris Rock’s joke about Smith’s spouse’s medical situation that led to the notorious slap….
In the top, a South Florida wildlife professional was capable of put the thriller to mattress.
Reached by New Times by telephone on Tuesday, Zoo Miami spokesperson Ron Magill recognized the creature within the picture as an animal — albeit a really sick one — present in Miami and different elements of Florida.
5. Fisher Island Family Urgently Seeks Nanny for $120,000 a Year, by Alex DeLuca
Ever dreamed of changing into a modern-day Mary Poppins who earns a six-figure revenue and works in one of many richest Zip Codes within the nation?
Well, this is your probability.
Nine days in the past, a seemingly well-to-do however nameless native household posted a job for a “Full Time Nanny and Etiquette Teacher” on Indeed. The compensation: “$120,000 a 12 months plus advantages.”
The best candidate, the posting states, is “nice and sort” and “loves kids.” The best candidate has no less than three years of nanny or babysitting expertise, two years of instructing expertise in a classroom, and a legitimate driver’s license. The hours are anticipated to run from 11 a.m. to eight p.m., Monday by means of Friday.
4. “Positively Dystopian”: Federal Judge Blocks Florida Stop WOKE Act, by Alex DeLuca
A federal choose has issued a preliminary injunction in opposition to Florida’s so-called Stop WOKE Act, slamming the brakes on the state’s enforcement of the controversial regulation that restricts instructing about systemic racism in public colleges.
In a 139-page ruling, U.S. District Judge Mark Walker in Tallahassee blasted the Stop WOKE Act, now referred to as the Individual Freedom Act, which had been championed by Gov. Ron DeSantis. The choose dominated that the regulation violates the First and Fourteenth Amendments by barring Florida’s educators from expressing sure viewpoints in college lecture rooms, whereas allowing “unfettered expression of the alternative viewpoints” favored by the State of Florida.
“This is positively dystopian,” Walker wrote. “It ought to go with out saying that if liberty means something in any respect, it means the proper to inform folks what they don’t need to hear.'”
3. All 200+ Books Banned in Florida and What Miami Booksellers Have to Say About It, by Alex DeLuca
According to PEN America, which tracks book-banning incidents, Florida tallied the third-highest variety of college guide banning incidents within the nation, trailing solely Texas and Pennsylvania. While books have been banned in America because the days of the Mayflower, there was a latest surge as an unprecedented variety of dad and mom, activists, and elected officers request scores of books to be banned from lecture rooms and libraries….
“It’s extraordinarily disturbing. But it is no shock, given the place our politics are right this moment, that guide banning and these cultural divisive points shall be exploited as a way to make a political assertion or to achieve political benefit,” Books & Books proprietor Mitchell Kaplan tells New Times. “The language is obscure in a few of these payments. Basically, it leaves educators at the hours of darkness.”
Chaz Stevens of Deerfield Beach has requested that Miami-Dade and Broward County public colleges ban the Bible.
2. Florida Atheist Petitions to Ban the Bible in Miami-Dade and Broward Schools, by Joshua Ceballos
Since July of 2021, greater than 200 books have been banned in numerous college districts throughout Florida, the state with the third-highest variety of college guide banning incidents within the U.S. This comes because the Florida legislature and Gov. Ron DeSantis have handed House Bill 1467, which permits members of the general public to problem and ban books out there at school lecture rooms and libraries, and a swath of “anti-woke” laws purportedly geared toward empowering dad and mom to guard their kids’s impressionable minds.
With that in thoughts, native political stunt activist Chaz Stevens of Deerfield Beach has taken it upon himself so as to add one other guide to the prolonged checklist: the Bible. This week, in letters despatched to superintendents in eight college districts in Florida — together with Miami-Dade County Public Schools (MDCPS) and Broward County Public Schools (BCPS) — Stevens, an avowed atheist, petitions the districts to ban the Christian Bible from lecture rooms and libraries, citing its inclusion of inappropriate subjects.
See additionally: “Naughty” Public Officials Receive Gifts of Enormous Butt Plugs
1. Rubio Supporter Attacked While Canvassing in Hialeah Is Identified, Has Apparent White Supremacist Past, by Alex DeLuca and Joshua Ceballos
An alleged former white supremacist as soon as referred to as the “Cuban Confederate” was severely overwhelmed whereas canvassing for U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio’s marketing campaign final evening in Hialeah.
Christopher Monzon was strolling by Amelia Earhart Park in Hialeah on Sunday evening, October 23, when he was assaulted by a gaggle of males, in line with Vince Medel, president of the Miami Springs Republican Club.
Monzon has served as vp of the Miami Springs Republican Club and is a former member of the white nationalist group Florida League of the South.
Medel says that one heavyset assailant inflicted most of Monzon’s accidents through the assault, which left Monzon’s face lacerated and severely bruised. Monzon is at the moment being handled at HCA Florida Kendall Hospital.
See additionally: Details Emerge on Brutal Beating of Rubio Supporter, Former White Nationalist