Brian Robinson’s BIG HAT deserves all caps as a result of it’s a BIG HAT

I used to be satisfied it needed to be a photoshop. When the next tweet containing a photograph of Brian Robinson was dropped into Slack I refused to imagine it was actual.

Oh, however it’s, pricey readers. BIG HAT is actual, and it’s spectacular. I’m very enthusiastic about BIG HAT, largely as a result of I really feel the necessity to overcompensate for Robinson’s lack of pleasure. This was a dude doing a strong for a buddy, nevertheless it doesn’t appear to be he’s particularly amped to by the face of BIG HAT within the NFL.

In reality, that is extra suited to be the face of BIG HAT.

Strong Toad vitality apart, I’m fascinated with this entire BIG HAT factor. I’m not likely positive who it’s for outdoor of the particular person on the tailgate who defines themselves by garish apparel as a result of it compensates for his or her woeful lack of persona. It’s all the time the extra boring cats who put on issues like BIG HAT, the identical manner individuals put pissing Calvin stickers on their again window — I’m sorry, nevertheless it’s not a substitution for being attention-grabbing, regardless of how arduous you strive.

That stated, I do see some benefits to BIG HAT. Well, extra aptly I can assume particularly of 4 issues a BIG HAT is nice for:

1. Sneaking popcorn right into a movie show
2. DRUG STUFF
3. Assisting your novice sports-based magic act
4. Hiding that you just haven’t gotten a haircut in 17 months

Outside of this, I don’t actually know what BIG HAT is for … except. Hold on a sec, now we have a cultural touchstone for this. In Season 5, Episode 13 of The Simpsons Homer is tasked with sporting an enormous cowboy hat into the Kwik-E-Mart with a digicam inside to seize proof of malfeasance and poor meals preparation.

What if this can be a Roger Goodell organized sting operation to get dust on Dan Snyder? What if BIG HAT can be a cowl for espionage? Maybe that’s why Robinson isn’t so psyched to put on the hat — as a result of deep down he is aware of he’s making an attempt to take down the boss whereas additionally being a boss on the sector?

Or, I dunno, you possibly can simply purchase BIG HAT right here, however I can dream.