After Experiencing Infant Loss, Mom Uses Elf on the Shelf to Remember Son (Exclusive)

Many mother and father know that the beginning of the Christmas season typically means the return of the Elf on the Shelf. Social media feeds are full of fogeys discovering foolish, progressive methods of displaying their youngster’s Elf, who’s “tasked” with reporting again to Santa concerning the youngster’s habits every night time. 

Emberly Wadsworth, 29, was in search of a approach to honor her late son, Tatum, whereas giving her daughter, Anna Grace — whom the household calls Gracie — a particular vacation reminiscence. Enter: Elf on the Shelf, with a bittersweet twist.

Anna Grace’s brother, Tatum, was born a micro preemie, at simply 1 lb., 5 oz.

During Emberly’s being pregnant, Tatum was identified with Severe Intrauterine Growth Restriction. Emberly remembers “praying over [her] belly before he was born, begging for a chance to meet him.” He was delivered early, after which spent his seven months of life on a ventilator after being identified with Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia (BPD). 

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At 5 months previous, Tatum was additionally identified with hydrocephalus and a cranium that fused too early, however Emberly remembers, “He was so resilient, patient, and strong.” 

Doctors suggested that surgical procedure for Tatum could be too harmful, and having “accomplished all the things medically attainable to present him his highest quality of life,” the household got here to an “excruciating decision to take Tatum off of his life support” on Sept. 24, 2023, Mom says.

Despite the household’s grief, Emberly says, “It’s important to me to make this holiday season magical for Gracie.”

Emberly tells PEOPLE completely that the concept to make use of an Elf to recollect Tatum by this season got here to her “randomly” whereas strolling by means of the aisles on the grocery retailer. “[I] saw some elves for sale. Instantly, the idea popped into my mind: ‘Gracie is going to get two elves this year: Hers, and Tatum’s.’ ”

She explains, “I always try to find little ways to keep Tatum’s memory alive. Inside my entire soul, I felt this was a special way to actively remember Tatum this holiday season.” 

In a video posted to TikTok that has since amassed greater than 130,000 likes and 1.6 million views, Emberly asks and solutions the query, “What happens to your sibling’s elf when your brother is in heaven?” 

In the TikTok, Anna Grace walks into the kitchen of the household’s dwelling to seek out that her Elf on the Shelf arrange “Santa’s Workshop,” and left a notice on the door. Her father, John Wadsworth, reads: “Hey Gracie, I missed you so very much. Today I have a special surprise for you. Some kids have a sibling who’s in heaven” — right here John tells Anna Grace, “they’re talking about Tatum!” — “when that happens, there’s an extra Elf who no longer has a kid to visit, so Santa came up with the brilliant plan to send an extra Elf to the house it was originally assigned to. So this year, and all future years, you get two of us!” 

“What do you think, Gracie?” Emberly asks. 

An excited Anna Grace says, “Beautiful!” (Though in true child style, she is worried that her new elf has eaten all of her sweet.)

Emberly tells PEOPLE of Anna Grace, “She feels so special. Although she was young when she lost her brother, she talks about him and she misses him. She dreams of having a sibling at home.”

Though Tatum was by no means in a position to come dwelling from the hospital, Tatum’s elf “is special,” says Emberly. “She can fly to the North Pole and to heaven to send Tatum messages from Gracie. Gracie loves that.” She provides, “[Anna Grace] talks to her elves constantly, almost as if they are her friends. This idea has, in a unique way, made it feel like we get to talk to Tatum every day.”

Emberly is working exhausting to maintain the vacation season particular for her daughter, telling PEOPLE, “I miss our Tatum every single day. So does my sweet husband and little Gracie! But, I keep that pain inside me because it’s important to me to make this holiday season magical.”